NO CONTINUING CITY
"For here we have no continuing city..."
Saint Paul to the Hebrews
My hands here, gentle where her breasts begin
My picture in her eyes -
It is time for me to recognise
This new dimension, my last girl.
So, to set my house in order, I imagine
Photographs, advertisements - the old lies,
The lumber of my soul -
All that is due for spring cleaning,
Everything that soul-destroys.
Into the open I bring
Girls who linger still in photostat
(For whom I was so many different boys)
I explode their myths before it is too late,
Their promises I detonate. -
There is quite a lot that I can do ...
I leave them - are they six or seven, two or three? -
Locked in their small geographies.
The hillocks of their bodies' lovely shires
(Whose all weathers I have walked through)
Acre by acre recede entire
To summer country.
From collision to eclipse
Who took me by surprise
Like comets first - now, failing to ignite,
They constellate such uneventful skies,
Their stars arranged each night
In the old stories
Which I successfully have diagnosed.
Though they momentarily survive
In my delays,
They neither cancel nor improve
My continuing city with old ways,
Familiar avenues to love -
Down my one way streets (it is time to finish)
Their eager syllables diminish.
Though they call out from the suburbs
Of experience - they know how that disturbs! -
Or, already tending towards home,
Prepare to hitch-hike on the kerbs,
Their bags full of dear untruths,
I am their medium
And take the words out of their mouths.
From today new hoardings crowd my eyes,
Pasted over my ancient histories
Which (I must be cruel to be kind)
Only gale or cloudburst now discover,
Ripping the billboard of my mind -
Oh, there my lovers,
There my dead no longer advertise.
I transmit from the heart a closing broadcast
To my girl, my bride, my wife-to be -
I tell her she is welcome,
Advising her to make this last,
To be sure of finding room in me
(I embody bed and breakfast) -
To eat and drink me out of house and home.
(A mottó idézet Pál apostol zsidókhoz írt leveléből (13:14): "Mert nincsen itt maradandó városunk, hanem az eljövendőt keressük." Ld. http://www.kereszteny.hu/biblia/showchapter.php?reftrans=2&abbook=Zsid&numch=13)
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